Who Said That?

Who Said That?

"After we have proved that the people of flying saucers are none other than demons in human form, and that flying saucers are the flying riding beast or donkey of the Antichrist, which demons made for him to enable him to gain control over the people of the earth, now we need to recognize the goals of the study and the experiment that the demons perform upon human beings and animals in flying saucers.  We will relate these goals to the tribulations and the miracles that the Antichrist will bring to humanity."

You know how this works!  No cheating or google searches!  Leave your answer in the comments section.

Update on Monday, October 9, 2006 at 03:19PM by Kim Riddlebarger

Believe it or not, this quote is from a very popular Muslim apocalyptic writer (H. 'Abad al-Hamid) who penned these words in 1996.  The translation is found in David Cook's excellent book, Contemporary Muslim Apocalyptic Literature (Syracuse University Press, 2005), 81.  Cook documents how Muslim writers are now appealing to biblical texts (from Revelation, Daniel, and Ezekiel) to craft bizarre schemes to explain the rise of Israel and the great Satan (America).  Some of this stuff is pretty scary.

It just goes to show you that apocalyptic speculation can get pretty loopy whether it comes from a Muslim or an evangelical.

Who Said That?

Who Said That?

"My ex-wife is the Antichrist's sister"

Have fun with this one!  No cheating, no google searches.  Leave your answer in the comments section.

Update on Tuesday, October 3, 2006 at 08:47AM by Kim Riddlebarger

This gem came from that TV Evangelist who is not a TV Evangelist, Gene Scott.  He was in the middle of a rant about his ex, who had given an interview to the LA Times about the Scott's former marriage.  This was back in the days when the FCC was threatening to take away Scott's broadcast license.  He called his ex the Antichrist's sister and then launched into a tirade the likes of which I have never seen and which I cannot repeat.

Big Mansions, the Antichrist, and Workout Shorts

Here's a gem or two that readers sent to me of late.

These shorts, quite appropriately labeled, come from the folks at the Old Lutheran Gift Shop, where you can not only buy a new pair of workout shorts, but where you can also buy a six-pack of "Sin Boldly."  You'll have to look that one up!  Click here: Left Behind Gym Shorts: Old Lutheran Gift Shop (h.t. Mark Tritschler). 

How come the Reformed don't have an "Old Calvinist Gift Shop?"  My guess is that an old Calvinist would not be near as much fun as an old Lutheran!

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And then there are these two links to "photo essays" over at Rapture Ready. 

The first photo essay should give you all the incentive you need to work for that three-story heavenly mansion (Click here: Photorama), while the other lays out a list of potential candidates for Antichrist (Click here: Photorama)  (h.t. Mrs. Guy deBresil) 

I guess the Riddleblog is a close as the Reformed get to Rapture Ready . . .

Any thoughts?  Send me links to stuff you find and I'll use them if they strike me as funny (or, if someone hasn't beat me to it).

Who Said That?

Who Said That?

"There is absolutely no question that God's hedge of protection was lifted from America.  September 11 was a curse on our beloved nation, but worse is the fact that most Americans don't understand why it happened . . . . America is in this position primarily because we are the only nation today in alliance with both the historical brothers of prophecy--Ishmael and Isaac . . . . America has married these two brothers:  Ishmael (the Arab nations) out of convenience and Isaac (Israel) out of guilt. . . . America is under a biblical curse that can be reversed.  Jerusalem is the final compromise.  If America divides Jerusalem, there will be no forgiveness.  America will tragically end up on the ash heap of history."

As usual, no cheating (google searches).  Please your guess in the comments section below. 

Update on Thursday, September 28, 2006 at 08:39AM by Kim Riddlebarger

As some of you guessed, these words come from the opening chapter of Michael Evans' best-seller, The American Prophecies.  But they could have come from Hagee and some of the others that you mentioned. 

Is the Pope Catholic?

 . . . Not much longer if Muammar Gaddafi's son gets his wish.

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Tripoli - The elder son of Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has called on Pope Benedict XVI to convert to Islam immediately, dismissing last week's apology from the pontiff for offending Muslims.

"If this person were really someone reasonable, he would not agree to remain at his post one minute, but would convert to Islam immediately," Mohammed Gaddafi told an awards ceremony on Monday evening for an international competition to memorise the Qur'an. 

To read the rest of this story,  Click here: Pope asked to convert to Islam

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Wouldn't Luther and Calvin have fun with this headline!  I'm having a bit of fun with it myself.  Any thoughts?

The Unbelievable Hypocrisy of Muslim Outrage . . .

Throughout the Islamic world, Muslims continue to express their outrage that Pope Benedict the XVI dared to make mention of a 14th century conversation between a Byzantine Christian Emperor Manuel Paleologos II and a Persian scholar on the truths of Christianity and Islam.  Benedict didn't say whether he agreed with the comment or not . . .  He simply made an oblique reference to the discussion.  Now, Muslims everywhere are outraged. (I saw this picture on Drudge--I'll bet this guy is a hoot at family get-togethers).

Give me a break!  Where was this Muslim "outrage" when nineteen of their own flew two jumbo jets into the Twin-Towers and one more into the Pentagon?

Where was this Muslim outrage when Richard Reid tried to blow up a jet-liner with a shoe bomb?

Where was the Muslim outrage when suicide bombers killed scores of Aussies in Bali?

Where was the Muslim outrage when a Muslim shot-up the El-Al counter at LAX, killing a heroic young security guard?

Where was the Muslim outrage when two men rode through the DC area sniping at unaware innocents, killing in the name of Allah?

Where was the Muslim outrage for the bombings of trains in Madrid and the subways in London?  Dozens of men and women were killed while going about their daily business.

Where is the Muslim outrage at news of the attempted bombings of more than a half-dozen jet-liners over the Atlantic?

This is a religion of peace, right?  Where is CAIR?  Where is the condemnation of acts of terror by Islamic scholars and noted Imams?  Their collective silence speaks volumes.

If Benedict apologizes for this, he is absolutely crazy!  An apology will only encourage more Muslim rage anytime someone dares to state in public that Allah is not the true God and Muhammad is not a prophet.

Let us see this for what it is--an attempt to subjugate other religions to Islam by silencing them through threats of violence.  But then this has always been the Muslim way.  

Meanwhile, let us preach Christ and him crucified, for this is the power of God unto salvation!

Review of "Man of Sin"

For anyone who is interested, there's a great review of Man of Sin in the latest issue of Modern Reformation.  The review was written by Keith Mathison of Ligonier Ministries and author of: Dispensationalism:  Rightly Dividing the People of God?; Postmillennialism:  An Eschatology of Hope; and editor of When Shall These Things Be:  A Reformed Response to Hyper-Preterism.

To read the review, Click here: Review of Man of Sin, by Kim Riddlebarger

Who Said That?

Who Said That?

"There is one fact which is itself conclusive against this doctrine of imputation.  It is the fact that the salvation in Christ, both as a present attainment and a future blessedness, has its complete ground in his vicarious sacrifice.  A brief statement of facts will show this.  Herein we have reconciliation with God; the forgiveness of sin; justification; righteousness; regeneration and a new spiritual life; adoption and heirship; [readiness] for heaven and the possession of a future blessedness.  Thus it is that all the blessings of a complete salvation are grounded in the vicarious sacrifice of Christ.  Hence there is no place for the imputation of his personal righteousness, and no need of it.  Indeed, it is excluded."

You know the drill!  No cheating (google searches or otherwise).  Leave your answer in the comments section below!

Update on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 03:14PM by Kim Riddlebarger

This was a tough one . . .  Too many of you have been guessing correctly (or using google searches).  I need to stretch you all once in a while. 

The quote comes from John Miley's Systematic Theology (1894) Vol.II,317.  Miley produced the Methodist equivalent of Hodge's Systematic Theology.  Warfield thought Miley was an excellent theologian because Miley was willing to go where his Arminianism took him.  He not only denied imputation, Miley denied that the atonement was a real satisfaction for sin.  Furthermore, Miley also taught that salvation was a real synergism.

I cited this particular section from Miley because it could have come from a number of our evangelical and "Reformed" contemporaries, who defend something very much like what Miley and classical Arminians have always taught. 

Who Said That?

Who Said That?

"We should give Jesus a demotion. It is no longer credible to think of Jesus as divine. Jesus' divinity goes together with the old theistic way of thinking about God.  The plot early Christians invented for a divine redeemer figure is as archaic as the mythology in which it is framed. A Jesus who drops down out of heaven, performs some magical act that frees human beings from the power of sin, rises from the dead, and returns to heaven is simply no longer credible. The notion that he will return at the end of time and sit in cosmic judgment is equally incredible. We must find a new plot for a more credible Jesus."

You know the drill!  No cheating (google searches or otherwise).  Post your answer in the comments section.

Update on Monday, September 11, 2006 at 02:31PM by Kim Riddlebarger

As some of you guessed, this blasphemous screed came from Robert W. Funk of the Jesus Seminar.  As Raymond Brown (the Roman Catholic New Testament scholar) once quipped, it is time for the Jesus Seminar members to give up their adolescent rebellion against the fundamentalism of their youth and begin to do some serious scholarship.

It Was Only a Matter of Time . . .

White Horse Inn listener Brian Ring is at it again (Click here: My Fake Posters).

Of course, we fly Rod Air when we can.  But I don't think Ken will be happy being forced to sit in the back of the plane, again . . .