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« Who Said That? | Main | Decisions, Decisions . . . »
Friday
Mar072008

Thought You Might Want to Know . . .

rapture%20postcard.jpgThe Rapture index is suddenly spiking.  It is now up to 168--the highest it has been in some time.  The all-time high was 182 (right after 911).   Click here: The Rapture Index.

Feed the pets, water the plants, and cancel the newspaper.  And most importantly, make sure those tidy-whities are clean.  If the "Left Behind" movie teaches us anything, it is that while you might go in the Rapture, your tidy-whities won't.

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Reader Comments (27)

Something tells me that nobody will want my skivvies, even if they are clean. Wait, maybe they will be considered something of an "relic" for those left behind. Oh, this could go so many different directions. Insert a "cheeky" joke about an Outhouse somewhere.

Zrim
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZrim
Maybe someone should derive a formula that uses both the Rapture index and the famous "Apocalypse Clock" (created in by concerned scientists during the cold war era and is based upon various global factors that inch us ever closer to nuclear holocaust) to really zero in on the rapture. Of course, this could create a unique paradox: if the time of the secret rapture could be accurately determined would it really be a secret?!
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge
My dear grandmother had that picture on the wall of her home, when I was a child. She listened to J Vernon Mgee everyday. I wish she was still alive so we could talk about the great things of Christ and His Kingdom. I don't think there were a lot of the books available back then for the average SBC premil type.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJames L
"Tidy-whities"? I thought the term was "tighty-whities."

This Rapture Index looks like it could be a never ending source of (unintended) humor. So at least it's serving a worthwhile purpose.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrufrock65
Crap, I thought you were joking. That site is serious!

Geeeesh!

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFelix Ayala
I love the way J. Vernon Magee says "Jerusalem."
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZrim
I love that picture. It reminds me of the bumper sticker, "In case of Rapture car will veer out of control,taking out everything in its path”

Something like that.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRick B.
That rapture ready site is religulous!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religulous
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFelix Ayala
So...according to the key at the bottom we should all have our seatbelts fastened!! (Yet we were also supposed to have them fastened after Sept. 11, 2001?)
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterP Stefan
I have always wondered what will happen to false teeth, pacemakers, and breast implants in the rapture. Will they just get trampled on the ground?

DSY
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDSY
Wow. Haven't see this picture in years! This very picture was framed in my childhood church in the front office. Ah, the memories...
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBRing
I fastened my seat belt for the ride home from work today. Then --once safely in my driveway-- I got out of my car, came inside, and ... read the "Rapture Ready Index!"

I wonder if there's any die-hard dispensationalists that are actually ever the least bit embarrassed that these sorts of things exist...

If so, I wonder if they have the guts to let "Rapture Ready" know. If not, I wonder why not.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWayne Rohde
Just for kicks (now that my seat belt is unbuckled), I googled "Rapture Ready" and found a You Tube video clip about "Christians United for Israel" containing an opening interview with Tom Delay, who said, "Obviously, we have to be connected to Israel in order to enjoy the second coming of Christ."

Hmmm... I thought we had to be connected to ... ... ... Christ to be ready for Christ (Phil. 3:7-9)!!!

Of course Hagee was also present and vocal. Joe Lieberman introduced him by saying he is "a man of God ... the leader of a great multitude ... even greater than the multitude Moses led out of Egypt to the Promised Land."

Hmmm... I thought Hagee denied that Jesus claimed to be the Messiah; so that qualifies him to be a man of God???

One of my favorite sections of the video clip was of a guy who said, "If you haven't seen the 'Left Behind' series, it's scary."

March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWayne Rohde
I once saw a bumper sticker (most likely an atheist's) that said, "In case of rapture, can I have your car?" I was quite amused.

In my own opinion, they need to add another category after fasten your seatbelts. The "When the S--t hits the fan" category.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteven Carr
DSY; I hope that when the rapture comes I get to keep my gold teeth.

On another related note:

I once had someone tell me that he had a professor in college who refused to wear socks, because the professor thought that wearing socks was a hindrance to his being raptured when the Lord returned. If I recall correctly, my friend said that this person only wore flip flops. Luckily this professor taught at a Christian School in California, so he didn't need to deal with too much cold weather. I'd hate to not be able to wear socks in the winter while living in Chicago or some other cold place.

So strange.
March 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPresbyterian_keith
*sarcasm*

Gentlemen,

Have no fear. I have seen many papers written by men with misc letters following their names that we don't have to worry about any of this until 2011.

*/sarcasm*

March 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephen Feather
Stephen, I like the bumper sticker you saw....lol Hadn't seen that one yet. I'm amused also......:):):)
March 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterplw
My favorite sticker is still: "In case of RAPTURE, this car will be unmanned." Am I the only one here who notices the sexual connotations that can be drawn from this one?
March 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRichard
Has anyone really thought of the seriousness of all this? I mean, what will the Yankees do without Andy Petit.
March 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharles S
Wayne,

The Wesleyan church I (unfortunately) attend has scores of people who are sadly, not embarrassed by this type of picture/concept. They obviously don't realize, or don't care, that Wesley wouldn't support their rapture beliefs.

I tried to explain the "coming on clouds" passages do not mean Jesus is going to come physically riding on a cloud, but instead of searching the scriptures, they question my faith by asking "don't you believe God can do anything?" OY!
March 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

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