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« Who Said That? | Main | Finally, the Beast Revealed! »

Jack Bauer and His "Man Bag"

jack-bauer-in-action.jpgOK.  I admit it.  I love "24."  I don't get to watch it on TV, but do enjoy it on DVD when I can watch more than one episode at a time.

If you are a 24 fan, you are probably aware of all the Jack Bauer jokes making their way around the internet.

More than likely, you've also seen the discussion about Jack's "man bag," (as seen in the picture).  Some have used this to challenge Jack's legendary toughness.  "If Jack Bauer is so tough, why does he carry a purse?"  His defenders reply, "That's not a purse, its a sack of whoopass!"

In the bag, Bauer carries his handgun, numerous magazines (he seems to have an unlimited supply for any gun and caliber he happens to be using), his cell (which always has four bars--who is his provider?), and his trusty PDA which keeps him connected to Chloe and others back at CTU.

But for once, I am on the cusp of male fashion!  I have carried a "man bag" for years--my trusty leather satchel.  While I keep my Glock and extra mags at home, I too, am fully prepared for any contingency.

I have my emergency meds (eucalyptus cough drops, sinus stuff, aspirin, and Immodium--whether they admit or not, every preacher's greatest fear is that "Immodium moment" when you are in front of a congregation).  I also have my weapons:  my Bible, the ecumenical creeds and Reformed confessions, a copy of the church order, and whatever book I may need depending upon my current assignment (i.e. Louis Berkhof's Systematic Theology, Horton's book God of Promise).  I also have support materials, such as business cards, dry erase markers (you never know when you'll need them), and a tin of altoids.  I am fully prepared for any contingency.

But are others as well prepared?  What does Rick Warren carry in his "man bag"?  What about an emergent church pastor?  What does he (or she) carry around?  What about an Arminian or a dispensationalist?

Any thoughts?

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Reader Comments (24)

24 is a great show, and now in reruns on A&E!!! If man bags are good enough for Bauer AND Riddlebarger, then they're OK in my book.

I know Jack doesn't have much time for reading, what with all the grueling days he has to get through, but I wonder if, in addition to all the "magazines" for his Glock, Tag, Baretta, Micro RF, etc., he might also carry magazines of the periodical variety - perhaps "Modern Reformation?"
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTerry J
You da man!

Books -- always a bible, whatever book I am working through, currently Kuyper, lectures on calvinism and <ahem> Riddlebarger on Amillenialism. A flashlight, twine, SAK, lighter, spare Palm Pilot, digital camera w/ extra batteries, and, uh, tools.

BTW, this topic comes up periodically on Internet gun fora.
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered Commenter"lee n. field"
You kind of startled me with "whoopass." Are you showing your "blue" side?
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBrian Davilla
I'm not a dispensationalist, but I believe I have good reason to suspect they've had at least five previous man-bags -- from the man-bag they purchased in their original state of innocence to the man-bag cut out of stone -- are currently on their sixth man-bag graciously bestowed upon them by the Great Fabric Weaver, yet still await the consummate man-bag, the most glorious man-bag of all man-bags ever seen on earth, which will be able to be carried for a literal 1,000 years!
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick Chan
that post is too funny...i actually laughed out loud...really.

anyone else feel weird reading the term 'man-bag,' for various and obvious reasons, over and over?

bauer's man-bag is just another, more cool version of george's wallet...i have neither, just a messy car.

an arminian man-bag must be like a hat in a magic show in which faith, like a rabbit, is pulled out of no where. ta-da! see, you may not have seen it coming, but God KNEW i was going to do that (3 cheers and a free pass to heaven for me)! and an sbc man-bag probably has...ugh, ran out of sarcasm juice...i need another drink...see you after 5 PM.
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterzrim
I'm no preacher, but any man must be prepared for whatever God's providence throws at him. So I have 4 bags.

One is my pilot's bag (earphones, sectional maps, fuel tester, etc.)

Then my car bag (chains, jumper cables, backup umbrella)

Third, a gym bag. And you're right, Pastor Kim. Always have Altoids handy here. If not an extra set of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Also, deodorant and cologne if you're going to be around the fairer sex.

Fourth, a book & laptop bag. The laptop, of course, has several dozen Bibles (various translations in various languages) as well as Calvin's Commentaries, Institutes, and Hodge's ST. If you really want it, you can even throw Kittel's TDNT and BDAG or Schaff's ECF's in there, too. Armed and ready, like a Minuteman, to go to battle for the faith.

I was never a Boy Scout, but my mama did raise me right. Christian men should always be using "man bags."
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Gadbois
I call my man-bag a case. It contains Amillennial literature. It's a case for Amillennialism.
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterRick B.
I hear that Robert Schuller carries a bottle of Windex for quick cathedral cleaning, industrial-strength Geritol, and a club to smack down uppity airline attendents who fail to cater to his whims. No Bible, but he does have a well-worn copy of Chicken Soup for the Psychologist's soul.

Emergent pastors don't use leather man bags; they prefer Sojourners tote bags made from hemp (they also have several other bags sitting around, but they're never sure which one to use since they all have limitations, and how could anyone in this postmodern age rely on just one bag?). Inside they have a goatee comb, the latest Anne Lamott book, an MP3 player filled with U2, and extra rectangular glasses (they have a Bible, but it's in one of those other bags, the one they used to use back when they were less authentic...)
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterRuss
i'm no sojourner or emergent-type, but ain't nothin' wrong with U2...;)
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterzrim
At least we know what is NOT in a Southern Baptist's Man Bag: a nice supply of brew and/or booze!
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterChris Coleman

don't be so might be the only place he *can* keep some brew!
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterzrim
Since no one has yet speculated on the contents of Rick Warren's man bag, allow me:

First of all it would have to be a gigantic bag - big enough to carry at least 132 different Bible translations.

I assume he would also have a few spare Hawaiian shirts.

I've also heard a rumor that Joel Osteen is releasing his own line of man bags - "Your Best Man Bag Now."
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTerry J
Hilarious! Have watched 24 from the beginning and never thought of his "man bag" before ... personally, I would suggest taht every "man bag" MUST include a supply of Immodium AD tablets at the very lest (especially if you're flying :)).
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWayde
Dear Kim,
My wife and I are also 24 fans and while we have wondered as to his 'man bag' it is reassuring to know that a solid man of God also can muster the testosterone to pull that off. However; I believe that my wife will never recover from our dearly beloved Pastor Kim using the word “whoopass”. She is consulting the WCOF as we speak. I on the other hand think that it is a fabulous post. That is exactly what it takes to fight off those intrenched dispensationalists...immodium.
Thanks for the laugh
Rob and Melodie who has now turned to the Three Forms of Unity for comfort.
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterRob
24 is my favorite show, along with Lost.

Unfortunately, people have teased me for carrying everything in my wallet. I am convinced that I have the fattest wallet on record. It is so fat and tight that it doubles as my weapon of choice. Many fools, who have tried to jump me at an ATM, have experienced a world class and brusing whoopass from my wallet.

But, hey, maybe I should try the bag.

June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLarry
I'm in agreement with the other commenter, that Rick Warren's male-purse contains a bunch of bible translations, but also . . .

- A black Sharpy, to uses as a hihlighter, on any bible verses that have a negative tone to them (wrath, sin, self-denial, the 'H-word').

- A Peace Corps manual

- The Works of Al Gore (on the environment).

- A Jewish skull cap, so that he can look at home when he's preaching his purposes in the synagogs

- His iPod with Purple Haze on it.

- a spare set of clergy vestments (hawaiian shirt)

- His autographed copy of Shuller's New Reformation: Self Esteem book

And that's just in the main compartment of his purse:-)
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJim from
What will I have in "Da Maan" bag?

It will be my last resort weapon with all pesky dispensational, wederdoper and arminian mosquitos: A 16-pound 10x12 NASB Bible (its that heavy because of its neat Ten Commandments appendix: Two real Tablets of Stone that is the exact copy of what Moses got)

Wham! Bham! and a little of a very strong alkaline metal with some water:Ka-Booom! No more itchy mosquitos.

And how about some explosive computing power on your lap:
June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDa Stoopid Maan
From an SBC'er:
Fundy SBC types carry:
1. a KJV New Testament (no need for the Old)
2. a copy of John R. Rice's "Why I disagree with all five points of Calvinism."
3. a list of companies to boycott
4. leftover "W-04" bumperstickers

In seminary I carried:
1. My NASB
2. A copy of the "Baptist Faith and Message 2000" and "The 1689 Baptist Confession"
3. a cigar cutter
4. a flask filled w/ J.D.
5. A copy of "Polity" ed. by Mark Dever

[To keep any fundy's heartrate at a reasonable level, let me assure you that items 3 and 4 were not carried in my seminary man-bag]
July 1, 2006 | Unregistered Commentershane
Rick Warren carry a bag, no way I hear theydon't even read the Bible in what they call church. Don't forget his favorite translation: The Message Bible. I am sure he carries a calf skin edition so when ever he is inspiried he can read it and get a clear message from God.

As for the TV show 24 it is one of the most intense shows on TV. I own every season. Waiting for season 5 so I can rewatch it as I mist two weeks had cable problems.

Russ, What did you mean by that U2 remark. They are my favorite band and I think anyone who would want to unwind would bemfit from listening to U2.

Man Bag never thought of it that way. I carry a Bag to work so what!
I carry my Bible ESV Reformation Study Bible Of Course
Tracts to Share the Gospel with others
Pens, Highlighter
Any book which I am reading {Hortons new Book Too goog to be true, and the Three Forms of Unity}. What else is there.
July 1, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterTiminator
I suspect the prepared dispensationalist carries plenty of charts. . .

. . . Rick Warren may carry "handfuls of purpose". . .

. . . I personally carry my Sunday School curriculum and materials, along with church bulletins I've designed for my old church several years ago--kind of my own little portfolio, in case I encounter the opportunity to play amateur graphic designer in the future! (I only carry my man bag to church)

July 2, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJohn D. Chitty

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