You Know You Are Not Reformed If . . .

 
You know you are not Reformed if

. . . you think the Apostles Creed is the guy who fought Rocky in Rocky I.

. . . you think the Canons of Dort are like the Guns of Navarrone.

. . . you think Ursinus is a nasal condition.

. . . you think Arminians are the people who run convenience stores.

. . . you think the Belgic Confession was from WWII war crimes trials.

. . . you think “popery” in the church makes it smell flowery.

. . . you think the psalter goes with the pepper shaker.

. . . you think unconditional election is a practice of communist dictatorships.

. . . the only “kirk” you know is from Star Trek.

. . . you think the Three Forms of Unity are health, wealth, and happiness.

. . . you think “catechism” and “dogma” relate to pets.

. . . you think Post Tenebras Lux is a breakfast cereal (it’s actually the motto of post-Reformation Geneva).

(h.t. Pat Yamada)

Can you think of more? 

Comments

[zrim]

rick, you have too much time to think of these! good one.

zrim

[zrim]

...if you grew up in Grand Rapids, went to christian schools and attend a local reformed church (i.e. "i call myself reformed, so whatever i think or do is ipso facto reformed")...

oooh, now that's some regional cynicism.

[MarieP]

...you hear "ordo salutis" and think it is either a military greeting or a yoga position.

,,,you think Total Depravity must be the name of a new punk band.

...you keep hearing the pastor talking about "fencing the table" but you wonder why no one's built it yet

[shirohniichan]

... you answer "What is your only comfort in life and in death?" with "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better."

[shirohniichan]

... you think Bullinger was a cartoon moose who had a TV show with Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

[Christopher Taylor]

Great stuff, Kim :) And its good to see you out in the blogosphere. Tell Rod hi for me next time you see him.

[Matt]

I laughed so much at all of this, it was needed today. I especially liked this one;

... you need a 2' x 6' timeline to figure out the essentials of the end times.

That was FUNNY, because I one time in my life that would have been me!!!

[Susan]

You all are amazingly creative. I especially like the witt of "Taliesin"