And There Will Be Signs on the Earth
Monday, February 12, 2007 at 05:50PM 
Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near . . . (Matthew 24:32).
One of the great eschatological questions of our age has to do with the color of Hal Lindsey's mustache. When most men hit middle age and they start getting a little gray, the mustache or the temple area is the first to go. That was the case for me. But not Hal Lindsey.
Notice that for Hal, the older he gets, the darker his mustache gets. Hmmm . . . In the first picture (above), taken in the early 80's, Hal's hair and mustache are dark.
But the pictures below show the Hal we've come to know and love on World Net Daily, TBN, and from Christian Publishing has graying hair and a very dark mustache.
Recently, however, there's been a dramatic change. Hal's mustache is now as white as his hair. . .
What could this mean? Like the leaves on the fig tree, is it a sign of the end?
Those of you who lack faith will just say that father time marches on--the aging process has claimed his mustache. The more cynical among you will say, "maybe he stopped using Just for Men."
But this dramatic change must be a sign . . . an important sign . . .
Perhaps it is tied to the release of the final book in the Left Behind series: Click here: LeftBehind.com: The Left Behind Book Series - Jerry Jenkins & Tim LaHaye - Home.
A coincidence? I don't think so . . .
Any thoughts?
Reader Comments (13)
You who are living in sin and misery, heed the message that Hal's mustache brings us! Repent! The end is surely near! As an old man waxes old and no longer cares to color his mustache, so too does our earth wax old, and the world is tired of covering its sins. The world is no longer coloring its mustache. Just look at the headlines screaming at us everyday! Iran is going to get nuclear weapons, paving the way for the world to end by fire, the Refiner's fire, that is, Iran's soon to be realized nuclear arsenal. Meanwhile, Al Qaida is stronger than ever, and George Bush, our hero, is about to be voted out of office any day now - I have forseen it. Soon, Hilary Clinton will become elected President, ushering in the new era of the beast right here in America, with Obama as the false prophet. They will give the glory of the Christian nation, America, to the UN, who will tear the Jews from their homeland.
Winter is descending on Narnia, even as gray is settling into Hal's mustache. Hal's mustache is calling you to repent to the God of second chances. Don't be caught left behind when Jesus comes to call his own, because there will be horrible tortures to pay if you finally stand up for Jesus on that day. Don't you know that Hilary Clinton will outlaw Christianity, and you will be drawn and quartered for what you believe?
Thanks, Kim Riddlebarger, for being so brave as to bring this to our attention. Because when Hilary is elected, she will use this blog as evidence against you. Oh, I weep for the miseries you will suffer at her hand!
That's why I use a pseudonym. They'll never find me. I can hide in my bunker for 7 years. I mean, I think I'll make the rapture, but I've been backsliding a lot lately, so I don't really know.
As for me, I'm trusting in Hal's mustache, because it's a clear sign from God. Repent! and believe the mustache.
*Note: if Hal's mustache has frightened you, join us. There is a group of us who are growing out our mustaches too, and we're hoping that they too will turn gray, as an omen, I mean sign from the gods, I mean God that Hal's mustache is real. Do you have the courage to grow a mustache for Jesus? Are you a promise keeper, or a promise meeker?
But what do we make of Rick Warren's trimmed down waist line, sharp goatee, deep tan and his well groomed, well colored hair? He has undergone a transformation that must also be eschatological in nature.
This was a much better start to my day then the morning news.
After enlarging the images, and spending considerable time painstakingly counting and recounting the hairs in Hal's mustache proper (no, nose hairs don't conut!), I've come to the definite conclusion that whether he happens to be sporting a black mustache or a gray one, there are exactly, precisely, right-down-to-the-last-hair, 1000 hairs in each mustache. Literally!
The signficance of this must not be missed. Someone reminded Hal that the passage about the millennium in Rev. 20 ends with a very bleak (black) account of a rebellion of unimagineable proportions, and that his black mustache might draw attention to the bleak (black) nature of how this golden age ends (sin/death/judgment), thus challenging the validity of the premil scheme.
Convinced of this frightening scenario (as in: "Horrors! Wouldn't it be just awful if men became amils?"), Hal began searching for an alternative, and landed upon Isa. 65:20 with its reference to old men living out their years (instead of dying when only 100) ... at which point he thought, "What better illustration of people living in very old, albeit unresurrected, bodies than men with gray mustaches?"
And thus it was that the mustache of Hal Lindsey hatched a new generation of premils, starting the slogan "Just men are really premil!" If you have any doubts, just ask Hal. A mustache doesn't lie.
Unfortunately, for the premil theory, many younger men and women, convinced of the superiority of the amil position, have no difficulty seeing through the cracks of the hair-brained premil view.
1) The Good News: This is (supposedly) the LAST book in the Left Behind series. If so, I'm glad the series has finally reached the END!
2) The Bad News: More error is propogated. The ad speaks of a PERFECT kingdom, a PERFECT relationship with the Lord, a TRANSFORMED earth ... AND (yes, AND) ... EVIL that lurks, UNREPENTANT people that still exist, and an OFFENSIVE AGAINST THE LORD which will yet occur! Wow, I can't wait! What exactly don't premils understand about this contradiction?
3) Also: Too bad "Kingdom Come" doesn't come out to folks two days earlier. Then there might be an excuse for it. Which leads to number four...
4) No doubt about it: I'm glad that I haven't wasted my time reading a single one of the LaHaye/Jenkins books, prequels, etc.
Also, I do belive that Lindsey's mustache changed a shade every time he revised "The Late Great Planet Earth."
and the only good mustache joke I could think of...
An angry mob is walking along the street. Someone yells, "Hey, let's hang that guy with a mustache!"
Someone else yells, "Nah, let's use a rope!"
haven't wasted my time reading a single one of the
LaHaye/Jenkins books, prequels, etc."
Right with you, Wayne! I have been offered
facial studies in wonder by folks who ask me if
I've read any of the books, to which I have gleefully
responded, "Never! And I never will." This was
all the more wondrous during the years when
I lived (practically) in the backyard of Tyndale Publishing!
By the way, Wayne, I've been thinking about writing a series of books dealing with the fallacies & foibles of obsession with "end" time issues. There will be two main characters in the storyline: a bumbling "christian" psychologist and an overly-excited kids storywriter, who collaborate to create fictional accounts of Bible prophecy for fun and for profit. Since these two become so determined to make an ass out of themselves, I'm duty-bound to complete the portrayal of their backside by entitling the series, "Right Behind".
"But what do we make of Rick Warren's trimmed down waist line, sharp goatee, deep tan and his well groomed, well colored hair? He has undergone a transformation that must also be eschatological in nature."
You are correct, Rick, in asserting that Mr. Warren's
transformation is eschatological. Its significance is
due to time spent in the Middle East during his
self-appointed diplomatic mission to Syria.
Certainly such resulting changes in appearance bode
ill for Israel--and America. Take heed!
Echo and Wayne, that is just to funny. I loved it. But I think you forgot the Dixie Chicks they got to be the mouthpiece to the antichrist.
How do we look at Hl Lindsey? I would say that he is a false prophet if that's what he is claiming to be.
Jenkins/ Lahaye's new book, here we go again with more people getting their theology from fiction books rather than from God's holy word.