The Ten Commandments for Good Motorists
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 at 09:36PM 
The Vatican has recently introduced a document called "The Ten Commandments for Good Motorists." According to Reuters (Click here: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for good motorists | International | Reuters):
"Thou shall not drive under the influence of alcohol. Thou shall respect speed limits. Thou shall not consider a car an object of personal glorification or use it as a place of sin.
The Vatican took a break from strictly theological matters on Tuesday to issue its own rules of the road, a compendium of do's and don'ts on the moral aspects of driving and motoring.
A 36-page document called `Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road' contains 10 Commandments covering everything from road rage, respecting pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding rude gestures while behind the wheel.
`Cars tend to bring out the 'primitive' side of human beings, thereby producing rather unpleasant results,' the document said.
It appealed to what it called the `noble tendencies' of the human spirit, urging responsibility and self-control to prevent the `psychological regression' often associated with driving."
Yeah, right . . . Since I believe that few noble tendencies emerge (especially in males) while driving, I thought I'd take a stab at 10 Commandments for Driving of my own (which reflect a more Reformed/Augustinian view of sinful human nature, and more importantly, all my pet peeves):
1. You shall not raise your middle finger and point it at another driver. The other driver might be armed. Gun beats finger . . . (like rock beats scissors) . . . You Californians will understand.
2. You shall not dial out on your cell while driving. You probably can only do one thing well at any given time. In this case, that would be dialing and not driving.
3. You shall not pass on the right, nor go too slow in the fast lane. If you do either, you are a menace.
4. When a traffic light turns yellow, you shall apply your brakes. You shall not accelerate. If you do accelerate, you deserve that automated photo-ticket.
5. When turning, you shall use your turn signal. After turning, you must make sure your turn signal is off. If you don’t do the one, you are a menace. If you do the other, you look really stupid.
6. You shall not put plastic Jesus fish, nor Christian bumper stickers on your car. If you do and then speed or drive like a fool or yell at other drivers, it is a bad witness.
7. If you pray while driving, please keep your eyes open. H.T. to Richard Pratt.
8. You shall not drive at night in traffic with your high beams turned on when there is on-coming traffic. I don’t car how cool your high-tech halogens look, I can’t see when you do that.
9. You shall not play movies I like on your in-car backseat video system, as it makes me want to pull up alongside and watch. Play all the Veggie Tales and Sponge Bob movies for the kids you want. Never play Tombstone or Band of Brothers.
10. You shall never have an amplifier and subwoofer which goes all the way up to 11 (remember Nigel Tufnel?). If your side panels and trunk lid rattle enough to make my windows rattle, its too loud!
I'm sure some of you can come up with a few more commandments of your own . . .
Reader Comments (21)
After the murder/shooting on the 710 last week due to road rage, yes, we Californians understand!
And here's an addition to your #6: "If you feel you must have a bumper sticker, make sure it's not some inane pretrib one warning of what will happen if the rapture occurs while you're driving. Hopefully you can make the distinction."
Of course I have a whole additional set of commands/threats/etc. for red-neck males driving pick-up trucks way, way, way too fast, as well as soccer moms driving SUVs the same way...
Living in southern Wisconsin, I have to regularly put up with drivers from Illinois ... ... ... who apparently have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER what a directional signal is.
Maybe we should send them back to driver ed school...
1. Thou shalt yield the passing lane to others wishing to travel faster than you.
2. Thou shalt not flip the bird to thy brethren.
3. Thou shalt not blast thy stereo while on city streets lest thou incur the wrath of its inhabitants.
4. Thou shalt not use thy turn signals in vain. Thou shalt use thy signals BEFORE initiating the turn, not during or after. Thou shalt not use thy turn signals
if thou dost not indeed turn. If thou art lost, pull to the side of the road that thou mayest not kill thy neighbor or the sojourner in thy midst.
5. Thou shalt not take up more than one parking space, even if thy ride is "special".
6. Thou shalt obey stop signs and red lights and not roll through them.
7. Driving is not the proper time or occasion to read, put on thy make up, change the radio stations, or chatter mindlessly on thy wireless device-- thou shalt pay attention to the road.
8. Thou dost not own the road, even if thou drivest a BMW or Mercedes. Share it with thy brethren.
9. Make not thy vehicle into a political billboard with inane stickers.
10. Take a chill pill that thou expresseth not road rage.
Were the Pope as environmental as he claims he could've summed up his law thusly: "You shall not drive."
On this hangs the law and the profits.
if that's the case, and i believe it probably is, KR violates one of my household rules in his #9: "Play all the Veggie Tales...movies for the kids you want."
sorry, but that animated production whose name must never be uttered, is simply more glorified moralistic sop and must never be consumed. bring on the spongebob, baby! iiiii'm ready, i'm ready, i'mreadyeddyready!
zrim
Thou shall not attempt to get on the freeway at 40 mph when the traffic is going over 70 mph nor shall thou be annoyed when someone else does.
Thou shall not excessively change lanes when traffic is congested, or certainly the lane you are in will always be the slowest.
Thou shalt pay attention to when the light turns green and kindly (remembering thine own guilt) remind the driver ahead of you when they do not.
I think if we are all honest we have to admit....Thou shalt not pick thy nose while waiting for a red light.
That was way to funny. I think you forgot one, you shalt drive the speed limit or else drive in the slow lane.
Better to pick it while at a red light then while driving.
But I would add,
Thou shalt not flick thy buggers whilst driving in the sight of other drivers.
Pastor Riddlebarger: I hope you'll pardon my use of the right lane for passing if another motorist is using the left lane for going at or below the speed limit and will not get over into the right lane.